My very dear friend Becca had been studying the Parelli program for about a year and it was becoming apparent to me that she must be onto something as the change in her mare's behaviour was significant! So one rainy weekend in August 2008 we made the trip to the NEC in Birmingham for the UK Celebration. I know everyone says that they are blown away when they first see Pat and Linda at an event like this, but that's because you can't not be. I experienced a huge variey of emotions that weekend and I guess perhaps the over-riding one was guilt. Pat talked about Professional Predators and I realised he was talking to me (ok, so he didn't actually say "Hey Elly, you're a professional predator!" but you know what I mean!) Some of the things he said really rang true for me, yes I had success with horses, yes they were well trained and did as they were told and yes, something was missing. My horses were doing all the giving and I was happy to take and then demand more - it wasn't a fair partnership. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't abusive, I loved my horses but if they stepped out of line I could get mad - and ok a little mean. They were trying their hearts out for me and I couldn't always see it. So I spent some time beating myself up and feeling bad before realising that kind of reaction is not constructive, so I decided to focus on the things that had been going right. My horses all came to call in the field, all still tried their best in every situation, all loaded up nicely into a trailer, etc, etc. It really dawned on me at this point how truly incredible the nature of the horse really is. I had been inconsistent, unfair, demanding and occasionally mad and mean yet they had forgiven me every time. Forgiving myself however was much tougher. I so wanted to embrace the Parelli principles and very much desired to be the best horseman I could possibly be, and that required letting go of some of the old me. This meant having to admit that I may have got things wrong in the past or that there were things I could have done differently/better. Hmmm... I believe I'm predominantly a RBE, however I do have a latent LBE side that is very competitive and NEVER WRONG! I battled with the conflicting emotions of wanting to do what I knew in my heart was the right thing, while at the same time still hanging defensively on to the belief that I really wasn't that bad in the first place, I'd done a good job in the past, my old ways did work, I still had to make a living etc, etc... It was a tough few months.
Then in October 2008 I dropped in to see a friend and spotted a gorgeous grey Arabian in her field. I asked about him and she said that the girl was afraid to ride him and he had not been sat on for a few years. So obviously I tacked him up, hopped on and set off at high speed. It was love at first ride. He walked out around the villages oblivious to tractors and buses, then when we turned into a large stubble field he rodeoed and took off at a flat gallop. When we eventually came to a stop (sideways jog) I told my friend that I wanted him. A message came through from the owner that evening "Take him and good luck to you!". Yippee! It had been a while since I'd had a very fast horse so my need for speed was at an all time high, I wanted to gallop, so did he - a match made in heaven :-) Or so I thought, he on the other hand was running for his life. After a few pretty hair-raising outings it finally dawned on me that he really wasn't enjoying this as much as I was. Long story short, I decided to give this Parelli malarkey a bash and started playing online. It didn't take too long for him to reveal that he is innately a pretty extreme RBI and that I had just been blowing him up into extreme RBE behaviour. To start with I found playing with him unbelievably challenging. His introversion drove me insane. Many times I had to leave him standing alone in the indoor arena while I went outside and jumped up and down with frustration and impatience. I persevered and once I was able to understand his nature better we made good progess, reaching a solid level 3 online in a couple of months. All this time I didn't sit on him once. People thought I'd gone mad taking him for long walks through the forest and over the hills online. After three months of building a relationship, we were out on one of our walks one sunny say and I just hopped on bareback. We had a wonderful calm ride and have never looked back. It was the first time I understood that it's a partnership, it really is about the relationship. Now we can ride anywhere at any speed and after a gallop he comes back to a soft walk completely freestyle. I'm very proud of my little lunatic :-)
Getting to this point that I never would have thought possible was what finally allowed me to let go of most of my baggage and really embrace Parelli 100% I'm so grateful to Sirius for opening that door for me, little did I know just where it would lead in only a couple of short years....
Then in October 2008 I dropped in to see a friend and spotted a gorgeous grey Arabian in her field. I asked about him and she said that the girl was afraid to ride him and he had not been sat on for a few years. So obviously I tacked him up, hopped on and set off at high speed. It was love at first ride. He walked out around the villages oblivious to tractors and buses, then when we turned into a large stubble field he rodeoed and took off at a flat gallop. When we eventually came to a stop (sideways jog) I told my friend that I wanted him. A message came through from the owner that evening "Take him and good luck to you!". Yippee! It had been a while since I'd had a very fast horse so my need for speed was at an all time high, I wanted to gallop, so did he - a match made in heaven :-) Or so I thought, he on the other hand was running for his life. After a few pretty hair-raising outings it finally dawned on me that he really wasn't enjoying this as much as I was. Long story short, I decided to give this Parelli malarkey a bash and started playing online. It didn't take too long for him to reveal that he is innately a pretty extreme RBI and that I had just been blowing him up into extreme RBE behaviour. To start with I found playing with him unbelievably challenging. His introversion drove me insane. Many times I had to leave him standing alone in the indoor arena while I went outside and jumped up and down with frustration and impatience. I persevered and once I was able to understand his nature better we made good progess, reaching a solid level 3 online in a couple of months. All this time I didn't sit on him once. People thought I'd gone mad taking him for long walks through the forest and over the hills online. After three months of building a relationship, we were out on one of our walks one sunny say and I just hopped on bareback. We had a wonderful calm ride and have never looked back. It was the first time I understood that it's a partnership, it really is about the relationship. Now we can ride anywhere at any speed and after a gallop he comes back to a soft walk completely freestyle. I'm very proud of my little lunatic :-)
Getting to this point that I never would have thought possible was what finally allowed me to let go of most of my baggage and really embrace Parelli 100% I'm so grateful to Sirius for opening that door for me, little did I know just where it would lead in only a couple of short years....
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