After seeing the drastic improvement in my own horse (and also in my own emotional fitness), I became fascinated and started playing with as many horses as I could get my hands on. Luckily I was working on a large livery yard at the time and had plenty of opportunities to try out my new-found skills. I guess I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just a fluke, that this stuff really does work! I am privileged enough to have a large number of friends and aquaintances locally who were prepared to allow me to conduct my "experiments" on their horses too. Turns out, yes this stuff really does work! The more horses I played with the more fascinated I became and before I knew it the dream to become a Parelli Professional was well and truly established and there was no way I could even contemplate my life taking any other direction.
Around this time the new Fast Track courses were unveiled and I knew I just had to get there. So I picked the date of March 2010 and the location of Florida and paid my deposit. I should say at this point I had no idea of how I was going to finance the remainder of the course fee, all I knew was that I would find a way somehow. Then a few weeks later, I was dutifully mucking out something like my 20th stable of the morning, when my lovely friend Becca called with exciting news! A Fast Track course was to be run at the UK centre in August 2010! This was the chance to at least save a little money by not flying, and more importantly than that, a chance to take our own horses! It was a no-brainer really, I threw down my pitch fork and dashed home to apply for a transfer immediately. I am so glad I decided to take action straight away, as by the end of the day the course was fully booked, phew! So the plan had altered and now Becca and I would be attending the same Fast Track together in the UK with our own horses - now we could get REALLY excited!
I still had the slight problem of funding to think about..... Finally I decided that there was no way I could earn that much extra in the next few months and that the only option was to sell my beloved Esme. Yes she was old, yes she was a bit smelly and could sometimes be lazy - the classic LBI, but she was always there for me and we'd been through a lot together. We had attended clinics and courses with Jackie Chant, James Roberts and Alison Jones. We had been on fun rides and to shows together and yes even camped out together a few times. This was going to be tough but I was sure I could find a loving home for her, so reluctantly I drafted the advert. "For Sale to good home only, 1988 VW LT35, excellent runner, low milage for age, carries 2 large horses easily....." So it was done, Esme found a kind new owner and I was able to pay for the rest of my Fast Track.
The next dilemma then had to be addressed - which horse to take? Although Sirius had progressed in leaps and bounds I still had my concerns about how he would cope with the different environment, the pressure I would undoubtedly put on him and the fact that he would have no turnout for 4 weeks and he dislikes being stabled. I hadn't been playing with my Welsh Cob, The Pepmeister, for as long and I didn't consider him as far along in the program as Siri, however I did know that he would cope fantastically with the environment and thrive on the challenges of learning a lot of new things in a short space of time. As soon as I made the decision to take Pep it was as if he knew that something big was happening and doubled his level of try in everything I asked him to do (or maybe he was already trying that hard but I'd been so focussed on helping my RB horse that I had neglected to notice what my trusty LBE was offering me every day).
The excitement grew and grew until I wasn't even sleeping properly with all the anxieties running through my head - would I be good enough? Could I remember the 8 principles? Did I understand the ten qualities? I was pretty new to Parelli, did I deserve this opportunity so soon? Would Pep want to spend the whole time eating as we would be playing on grass and he has his grazing restricted at home? I had self-assessed to Level 3 but what if I had got it wrong? Would everyone be at a much higher level than me? These questions and more went round and round in my head until I though I would go crazy!
Then finally the big day dawned and it was sunny and warm (for about the last time until we came home again!) My dear friends Emma and Jacqui towed the horses with Becca in their truck, and I drove on ahead to get the stables ready and suss out where everything was before the horses arrived. As soon as I pulled into the car park I was greeted by the lovely smiling face of my now good friend Larisa, and I suddenly felt like this was exactly where we were meant to be. Becca, Katy, Pep and I would all do just fine....
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Sunday 3 July 2011
Finding Parelli - The Journey Begins!
My very dear friend Becca had been studying the Parelli program for about a year and it was becoming apparent to me that she must be onto something as the change in her mare's behaviour was significant! So one rainy weekend in August 2008 we made the trip to the NEC in Birmingham for the UK Celebration. I know everyone says that they are blown away when they first see Pat and Linda at an event like this, but that's because you can't not be. I experienced a huge variey of emotions that weekend and I guess perhaps the over-riding one was guilt. Pat talked about Professional Predators and I realised he was talking to me (ok, so he didn't actually say "Hey Elly, you're a professional predator!" but you know what I mean!) Some of the things he said really rang true for me, yes I had success with horses, yes they were well trained and did as they were told and yes, something was missing. My horses were doing all the giving and I was happy to take and then demand more - it wasn't a fair partnership. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't abusive, I loved my horses but if they stepped out of line I could get mad - and ok a little mean. They were trying their hearts out for me and I couldn't always see it. So I spent some time beating myself up and feeling bad before realising that kind of reaction is not constructive, so I decided to focus on the things that had been going right. My horses all came to call in the field, all still tried their best in every situation, all loaded up nicely into a trailer, etc, etc. It really dawned on me at this point how truly incredible the nature of the horse really is. I had been inconsistent, unfair, demanding and occasionally mad and mean yet they had forgiven me every time. Forgiving myself however was much tougher. I so wanted to embrace the Parelli principles and very much desired to be the best horseman I could possibly be, and that required letting go of some of the old me. This meant having to admit that I may have got things wrong in the past or that there were things I could have done differently/better. Hmmm... I believe I'm predominantly a RBE, however I do have a latent LBE side that is very competitive and NEVER WRONG! I battled with the conflicting emotions of wanting to do what I knew in my heart was the right thing, while at the same time still hanging defensively on to the belief that I really wasn't that bad in the first place, I'd done a good job in the past, my old ways did work, I still had to make a living etc, etc... It was a tough few months.
Then in October 2008 I dropped in to see a friend and spotted a gorgeous grey Arabian in her field. I asked about him and she said that the girl was afraid to ride him and he had not been sat on for a few years. So obviously I tacked him up, hopped on and set off at high speed. It was love at first ride. He walked out around the villages oblivious to tractors and buses, then when we turned into a large stubble field he rodeoed and took off at a flat gallop. When we eventually came to a stop (sideways jog) I told my friend that I wanted him. A message came through from the owner that evening "Take him and good luck to you!". Yippee! It had been a while since I'd had a very fast horse so my need for speed was at an all time high, I wanted to gallop, so did he - a match made in heaven :-) Or so I thought, he on the other hand was running for his life. After a few pretty hair-raising outings it finally dawned on me that he really wasn't enjoying this as much as I was. Long story short, I decided to give this Parelli malarkey a bash and started playing online. It didn't take too long for him to reveal that he is innately a pretty extreme RBI and that I had just been blowing him up into extreme RBE behaviour. To start with I found playing with him unbelievably challenging. His introversion drove me insane. Many times I had to leave him standing alone in the indoor arena while I went outside and jumped up and down with frustration and impatience. I persevered and once I was able to understand his nature better we made good progess, reaching a solid level 3 online in a couple of months. All this time I didn't sit on him once. People thought I'd gone mad taking him for long walks through the forest and over the hills online. After three months of building a relationship, we were out on one of our walks one sunny say and I just hopped on bareback. We had a wonderful calm ride and have never looked back. It was the first time I understood that it's a partnership, it really is about the relationship. Now we can ride anywhere at any speed and after a gallop he comes back to a soft walk completely freestyle. I'm very proud of my little lunatic :-)
Getting to this point that I never would have thought possible was what finally allowed me to let go of most of my baggage and really embrace Parelli 100% I'm so grateful to Sirius for opening that door for me, little did I know just where it would lead in only a couple of short years....
Then in October 2008 I dropped in to see a friend and spotted a gorgeous grey Arabian in her field. I asked about him and she said that the girl was afraid to ride him and he had not been sat on for a few years. So obviously I tacked him up, hopped on and set off at high speed. It was love at first ride. He walked out around the villages oblivious to tractors and buses, then when we turned into a large stubble field he rodeoed and took off at a flat gallop. When we eventually came to a stop (sideways jog) I told my friend that I wanted him. A message came through from the owner that evening "Take him and good luck to you!". Yippee! It had been a while since I'd had a very fast horse so my need for speed was at an all time high, I wanted to gallop, so did he - a match made in heaven :-) Or so I thought, he on the other hand was running for his life. After a few pretty hair-raising outings it finally dawned on me that he really wasn't enjoying this as much as I was. Long story short, I decided to give this Parelli malarkey a bash and started playing online. It didn't take too long for him to reveal that he is innately a pretty extreme RBI and that I had just been blowing him up into extreme RBE behaviour. To start with I found playing with him unbelievably challenging. His introversion drove me insane. Many times I had to leave him standing alone in the indoor arena while I went outside and jumped up and down with frustration and impatience. I persevered and once I was able to understand his nature better we made good progess, reaching a solid level 3 online in a couple of months. All this time I didn't sit on him once. People thought I'd gone mad taking him for long walks through the forest and over the hills online. After three months of building a relationship, we were out on one of our walks one sunny say and I just hopped on bareback. We had a wonderful calm ride and have never looked back. It was the first time I understood that it's a partnership, it really is about the relationship. Now we can ride anywhere at any speed and after a gallop he comes back to a soft walk completely freestyle. I'm very proud of my little lunatic :-)
Getting to this point that I never would have thought possible was what finally allowed me to let go of most of my baggage and really embrace Parelli 100% I'm so grateful to Sirius for opening that door for me, little did I know just where it would lead in only a couple of short years....
Saturday 2 July 2011
My Life Before Parelli
Well this is my first ever blog entry, so where do I start? At the beginning I guess....
I am originally from Buckinghamshire in England. I came from a family who had nothing whatsoever to do with horses, so they were a little surprised when I became totally obsessed with them at a very young age. I begged for riding lessons and my parents eventually caved in when they deemed me old enough at age 6. All through school the only thing I could think of was getting out so I could walk up the hill to where there was a field with 2 ponies in it. I would spend every evening just hanging out with them and waiting for Saturday morning when my Dad would take me to my weekly riding lesson. Eventually the owner of the ponies spotted me hanging on her gate and invited me to come in and help. She didn't see the back of me until we moved away several years later. Her name was Mrs Embleton-Smith and I am eternally grateful to her for taking me under her wing and sharing her ponies and extensive knowledge with me. During these years I continued with weekly lessons and helped Mrs E-S most evenings. In return she let me ride Polly, a 14hh bay mare with no brakes who I adored (after all, what ten year old doesn't like galloping wildly around the countryside? Ok, so I've since discovered that not everyone is as silly as I was....) We went to lots of shows, the lovely old-fashioned English summer gymkanas where the grass was always burnt and the weather very hot (what has happened to those summers? So much for global warming!), I competed in school jumping competitions - I'm afraid dressage held no excitement for me back then, no galloping or jumping? Not interested! Then one day when I was nearly 12 my parents announced that we would be moving to Somerset, three hours away from Mrs E-S, the friends and ponies that I loved. I'm ashamed to admit that I behaved very badly and gave my poor parents a really hard time, luckily they have since forgiven me and life in Somerset actually turned out to be pretty awesome!
Within the first week I was spotted hanging on yet another nearby gate and this time the owner of the pony simply handed over the tack and said "She's all yours!" My initial excitement was dampened somewhat when Zara commenced "Operation - Dispose of This Annoying Child". She knew every trick in the book for dealing with over-excited children and routinely deposited me in low-hanging branches, prickly hedgerows and very wet ditches! She was the classic LBI, when asked for anything more than a shambling trot she found a clever way to avoid exerting herself - usually by un-shipping me then mooching casually off to graze nearby. I learnt a lot from Zara and very much wish that I had known about LBIs back then, we could have both been much happier! My parents would have loved to buy me a smart, expensive (well behaved!) pony, however they couldn't afford it at that time so I continued to ride everything that no-one else wanted.
I am originally from Buckinghamshire in England. I came from a family who had nothing whatsoever to do with horses, so they were a little surprised when I became totally obsessed with them at a very young age. I begged for riding lessons and my parents eventually caved in when they deemed me old enough at age 6. All through school the only thing I could think of was getting out so I could walk up the hill to where there was a field with 2 ponies in it. I would spend every evening just hanging out with them and waiting for Saturday morning when my Dad would take me to my weekly riding lesson. Eventually the owner of the ponies spotted me hanging on her gate and invited me to come in and help. She didn't see the back of me until we moved away several years later. Her name was Mrs Embleton-Smith and I am eternally grateful to her for taking me under her wing and sharing her ponies and extensive knowledge with me. During these years I continued with weekly lessons and helped Mrs E-S most evenings. In return she let me ride Polly, a 14hh bay mare with no brakes who I adored (after all, what ten year old doesn't like galloping wildly around the countryside? Ok, so I've since discovered that not everyone is as silly as I was....) We went to lots of shows, the lovely old-fashioned English summer gymkanas where the grass was always burnt and the weather very hot (what has happened to those summers? So much for global warming!), I competed in school jumping competitions - I'm afraid dressage held no excitement for me back then, no galloping or jumping? Not interested! Then one day when I was nearly 12 my parents announced that we would be moving to Somerset, three hours away from Mrs E-S, the friends and ponies that I loved. I'm ashamed to admit that I behaved very badly and gave my poor parents a really hard time, luckily they have since forgiven me and life in Somerset actually turned out to be pretty awesome!
Within the first week I was spotted hanging on yet another nearby gate and this time the owner of the pony simply handed over the tack and said "She's all yours!" My initial excitement was dampened somewhat when Zara commenced "Operation - Dispose of This Annoying Child". She knew every trick in the book for dealing with over-excited children and routinely deposited me in low-hanging branches, prickly hedgerows and very wet ditches! She was the classic LBI, when asked for anything more than a shambling trot she found a clever way to avoid exerting herself - usually by un-shipping me then mooching casually off to graze nearby. I learnt a lot from Zara and very much wish that I had known about LBIs back then, we could have both been much happier! My parents would have loved to buy me a smart, expensive (well behaved!) pony, however they couldn't afford it at that time so I continued to ride everything that no-one else wanted.
I carried on helping out at local stables every spare minute, mucking out and riding anything that wore hair, then at age 14 I was offered a job on an event yard by a lady who mistakenly believed that I was 18. I didn't see the need to enlighten her and immediately got stuck in. I figured I could break it to her some other time that eventually I would probably be found out and dragged back to school. For the time being I was just ecstatic to be getting paid £50 a week for 6 long days work. I loved every minute, even though the boss lady was a terrifying individual who ruled the place with a rod of iron whilst chain-smoking and never once leaving the comparative comfort of the tack room. I learnt all about caring for performance horses, preparing for events, getting horses fit, veterinary care, feeding programmes, clipping, plaiting, travelling etc. I had absolutely no sense of self-preservation back then, therefore I was soon put up on every new horse that came into the yard, just to check how crazy it was. I guess looking back there were a high percentage of RBEs coming through the business. Again I wish I had known of Parelli back then. I think of some of the horses I rode and realise it's just luck that I never had a terrible accident. On the plus side, I did learn to stick on!
Over the next few years I had a pretty good business trading ponies and starting youngsters for people (I know, I know, I'm sure going to school would have been just as much fun...) I travelled around going to 1,2 and 3 day events and horse sales, met all kinds of eccentric people, encountered an astonishing array of disturbed equine behaviours and developed my own ways of dealing with them - it would have been cool to have known about Parelli and have had a program to follow instead of just muddling along the best I could! Finally at age 18 my Mum put her foot down and insisted that I went to college. So I attended Lackham Agricultural College in Wiltshire and studied Equine Science with Business while I continued trading horses and riding for other people. I graduated with a distinction which kept Mum happy.
After college I carried on horsing around (what a surprise) and also decided that a "proper" job might be a sensible plan. I had no formal qualifications except for Equine Science, so I talked my way in to several "proper" jobs over the next few years, including estate agency (x2), admin jobs (x several) and eventually landed a job in the local council development control department as a planning officer where I stayed for a record 2 and a half years (this was tough for a RBE who really only likes being outside with ponies!) This was enough to convince the bank to lend me the money to buy my own horse property. It is small but perfectly formed :-) As soon as the deal was done, I handed in my notice and haven't done a "proper" job since. A year or so of horsing around later, my very good friend Becca took me to the 2008 UK Parelli Celebration - and that's where the real story begins.......
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